You feel so alone. when you reach out and try to be accepted, you try so hard. Your trying is received as pushing. You are shunned, laughed at and rejected.

   Your attempts to love others is received as too extreme, it must be fake, or perverted.  Your life has been filled with rejection, ridicule and mis-understanding.  Hurt is a constant part of your life.  Hurt is so much a part of your life that you become numb.    You fight anger, but it’s still there.  You become grumpy.  You fight back because you are used to being hurt.  This brings even more hurt and rejection.

   You pray!  Nothing happens.    You try!  Nothing changes.

   You keep trying.    You keep hurting.

   You keep praying.    But nothing changes.

   You’ve done all you can do.  When you die, you hope you go to Heaven.  You’re not sure!  Even the hope of Heaven is dimmed by the reality of a lifetime of broken dreams and frustrations.    You wait for it to be over.  You think of speeding things up.  Only your faith; your love; and your need to be loved keeps you going.  You understand the Bible that says that God loves you.  You hurt so much, you’re not even sure of that.

   I would like to testify that I understand.  For much of my life, I too have felt or experienced the things mentioned above.  It is not pleasant.  Medicine and some people try and attribute these feelings with depression and want to treat it with medicine.  I have been blessed.  God has taught me and helped me deal with these things.  Although I’ve been prescribed medication,  I have not taken such medication.  God is my medication!    It is interesting to view the side effects of these medications.  I would rather learn to live with such things than to chance the side effects.  I am not advising anyone to not take medication.  However God works for you, this is between God, your doctor and yourself.

   My purpose for sharing this is to tell my fellow sufferers that:

   GOD IS ALIVE!
   GOD CARES!
   AND, THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
   It is not, nor ever has been God’s intention for His children to suffer.  The Bible has many references to people who suffer from these things.  Satan places these sufferings upon us to prevent us from being the Christian that God wishes us to be.  Free!  Delivered!  Healed!  And Saved!
   If we only recognize the source of our depressions and learn to deal with them.  Through prayer.  There is nothing that can come against us if we put our trust in God, pray and then act upon what God has shown us.
   This leads to my primary feeling that there should be more “fellowship” within the “church”.  God’s people are the church.  If we forsake the fellowship.  If we stop sharing our burdens with one another, then we are not following the procedures which God has set forth in His Word.